Love Hurts Us
by sjt1988
Summary: James Potter found the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with but she didn't want that. Warning: Contains suicide.


**A/N: I took a song from each of Taylor Swifts' CDs (Taylor Swifts, Fearless, and Speak Now). I blended the three songs and made this story. Enjoy…**

Love Hurts Us 

Here I was in my brother's house with our family; I was sitting in a chair in the sitting room waiting for my brother to come back with my drink. I was here to help celebrate the birth of Lily's baby girl who came a few weeks ago. I watched my nieces and nephews running around the house. They were so happy about being young and not knowing the pain life had for them. I closed my eyes trying to not think about that time in my life, if I did I would ruin the mood for everyone here and I didn't want to do that to them.

Al's oldest came up to me. He looked at me with his big green eyes and smiled. I knew something was up when he smiled at me; it was the same way I would smile when I was up to no good. And he also thought he knew everything. He pushed his black hair out of his face. He was a true Potter and was going to give Al and Maddy gray hairs when he gets to Hogwarts. I know I did with my parents, just ask my mum she will tell you which gray hairs I gave her.

"Uncle James," the way he was smiling I knew I wasn't going to like it. "Have you ever been in love because Daddy has Mummy, Grandmum has Granddad, and Aunt Lilly has Uncle Dave but you don't have anybody with you?" I see Al was going to make his way over to me when his son asked the question. He held two drinks in his hand as he made his way over to us.

"Mikey, don't ask your uncle that." Mikey turned to his father and smiled, he nodded. He ran off to find his brothers and sister. Al handed me my drink. "Sorry about that, he has been asking the same question for a week now." There was a look in his eyes telling me there was more to the story then Al was telling me. "I know you would have told him about Emily." I nodded, knowing he was right.

"There were good times with her." I defended her. Al nodded.

"I know, James but it's time to move on for your sake and your daughter's." My sixteen year old daughter, Blake was in Hogwarts. Emily and I had her when we were about nineteen.

"I know, but it's hard." I loved Emily but it has been fifteen years.

J&E

"James," Emily yelled. "Stop chasing me." She leaned against the wall in the castle. I came up to her; I put a hand on each side of her head. I smiled as a leaned down to kiss her. She kissed me right back.

"I love you, Em." I said as I broke the kiss and took her hand and went back to the common room. Emily wrapped her arms around my waist; I kissed the top of her blond head. Her blue eyes were closed as we walked down the hall.

Emily and I have been going out since the last months of us sixth year. We were almost done here at Hogwarts with the last two weeks coming. We were in love and couldn't wait until we could get out of here to start the rest of our lives. Emily had dreams of traveling the world and I dreamed of following her everywhere. We planned on getting out of Great Britain and seeing what is out there.

We got to the common room and went in. There was a party going on for the end of year exams were done. I let go of Emily as she saw her friends. I smiled as I went to find the drinks. I kept my eye on her the whole way. I saw that Fred and Louis bet me to the drinks. Fred threw his arm around me.

"You got it bad, mate." I threw his arm off me and got a butterbeer.

"I'm in love and when you find someone to love that sorry piece of ass then you can make fun of me." Fred put his hand on his heart, acting like I hurt him.

"That hurts mate." I laughed. I left them standing there. There was nothing better than having the love of a girl. She saw me for me not for Harry Potter's son, it might have something to do with we knew each other since we were babies and our parents knowing each other. When we are with each other, I feel like I'm walking on air. I think that she's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. We'll travel for about five years before we settle down to make our family. And maybe someday we could take our kids with us.

I saw my brother trying to talk to Maddy Finnigan. I smiled and went over to him. "Tell her you think she's beautiful tonight." Al turned to look at me.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Al was trying to play innocent but it wouldn't work on me.

I threw my arm around him. "You only have eyes for Maddy there and everyone knows it even Maddy. So go up and tell her she's beautiful and dance with her." Al nodded and braced himself as he made his way to her. I didn't hear what was said but they started to dance.

I found Emily across the dance floor; I saw her smile when she saw my brother dancing. I made my way over to her. "Would you like to dance, Miss Longbottom." I put out my hand for her to take.

"Of course, Mr. Potter," She placed her hand in mine. I led her to the dance floor. We dance like there wasn't a care in the world, everyone was watching us. We were laughing and just having fun.

"Would you like to get out of here so people can stop looking at us?" Emily nodded and we left the common room. We ran down the hall to the doors that lead us outside. I took her hand and pull her to the lake. I pulled her in my arms and started to dance under the stars and moon. We danced until we couldn't stand anymore; we fell to the ground and started to laugh. I pulled her in my arms and told her how much I love her. It was one of the best memories I had of her before we had to go in to the world and be grown-ups.

Soon after Hogwarts we realize our parents weren't going to pay the bill for us to travel the world. So we got jobs and started to save money for it. There wasn't much in saving because of the bills we got and thought we could burn through our money anyway we wanted. We moved into a small flat in London. It was cheap but it was ours. I thought everything was okay but Emily still had her big dreams. As we lived in London I started to see Emily not shine like she used too. We fought more and less of dancing for no reason. Until that day she came home crying.

I was trying to make dinner with what we had in the house, which wasn't much. We haven't gone shopping in while because there was no money and we didn't want to ask our parents for help. I put the piece of meat on the stove when I heard the door closed. I waited until Emily came in the kitchen before going to find her. She had a habit of going straight to our room and never coming out. When she didn't come I went to find her.

I found her in our room, lying on the bed facing away from the door. I went in slowly. "Em, Emily is everything okay?" I asked, normally she would know when I came in the room and told me to leave her alone but this time she didn't.

"I'm pregnant, James" Emily yelled at me.

I felt a smile grow on my face; I was going to be father. Then I frowned and looked around the place we call home. I couldn't raise a child here then I heard the words.

"I want to get rid of it." I turned to see Emily sitting up on the bed. I ran my hand threw my hair.

"No." I said with force. Most of the time I let Emily have her way with things but she wasn't going to get rid of our child. It made Emily look at me. "I want this child." Emily got off the bed and made her way to me.

"James, what about us traveling the world together, we can't do that when we have baby." She wrapped are arms around me and looked at me with her big blue eyes knowing I would give her the world if she asked me. This was different this was another life here and I wanted it to have the same chance I had in this world.

I pull out of her arms. "We can travel when the baby is older." Emily gave me dirty look and she was angry.

"Is this what you want, James," She pointed to her stomach. "To be like our parents never leaving England's shore. To raise a house full of kids and never know what is out there." I could feel the temper raising.

"Yes, I do want children and home, I want to travel but things change, we can travel when we are older and have a family now." I yelled. I couldn't look at her right now and left the room.

"Fine," She yelled after me. "We can do your way for now." I grabbed my jacket and left our flat without looking at her. I pulled on my jacket as I went into the cold November wind.

I shoved my hands in my pocket and turned my collar up to keep the wind off my ears. Things were going to have to change for us. I was going to have to quit my job and get a better job. Find a place to raise our child because I wasn't going to raise my child in that dump. I just hope that Emily will turn around to the life I wanted to raise our child in.

The next day I quit my job and went to find a job at the ministry. I got a job in the Department of Magical Transportation working in Broom Regulatory Control. I found a small house on the outside of Ottery St. Catchpole. Emily just smile when I told of these things to her. We got married soon after I bought the house, Emily thought we didn't need to get married but I wanted to make sure this was for real.

The day my daughter was born was one of the greatest things I saw. I could tell it was going to be a beautiful day, the sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was ten in the morning when Emily told me she was going into labor. It was easy for someone going through it the first time. When I heard her scream for the first time I almost cried. They brought her to me wrapped in a pink blanket. I looked into those eyes and knew I was going to love her forever. It was the first time I seen Emily really smiled in a long time.

We named her Blake Eliza Potter. She had a tuff of black hair and her mother's blue eyes I knew I was going to have to keep the boys away from her. She was all pink when she came out with all ten fingers and toes. I was already in love with her and wanted to show her the world.

We were happy the first few months with Blake, she was a happy baby. I didn't mind getting up with her to feed or change her. We were always laughing with her there. We knew she was going to be very bright when she showed her first magic. Emily and I were in the kitchen with Al and Maddy when she threw her pacifier across the move. Emily got up to get it but Blake kept moving it away when Emily got to close. I thought things were going to be okay but I was wrong.

Blake was five months old when she did it the first time. I came home early one day, Blake was crying and I didn't see Emily anywhere. I picked up my daughter and felt that she was wet. I changed her then we went to find her mother. I found Emily in the bathtub with the water to the top. If she moved the water would come over the tub. Emily had her whole in there; her knees were sticking out of the water so her head was in the water. I covered Blake's eyes so she wouldn't see her mother that way. With a wave of my wand I banish the water. Emily started to gulp for breath. When she came around she saw me standing in the doorway with our daughter. I knew she wanted to say something but didn't for Blake was here.

"I'll be right back." I finally said after being quiet for the past few minutes. I went and put Blake in her cot. She looked at me with those big eyes, I didn't want to leave her but this was conversation between me and Emily. I kissed the top of her head before closing the door and putting the silence charm on the door.

I went back to the bathroom and Emily was sitting on the toilet with a towel wrapped around her. She threw me a look. "I think you should go to the hospital. Make sure everything is okay. I'll meet you there after I take Blake to my parents." I walked out of the bathroom leaving no room for her to state why she couldn't go.

I went back to Blake's room, I grabbed a diaper bag, and I put everything she was going to need for my parents. I wrapped Blake in a blanket and went to the fireplace. I heard movement from upstairs as I went through the fireplace. I ended up in my parents sitting room, Mum was there with Grandmum. Mum looked up at me and smiled thinking I needed some help with Blake.

"Mum, can you take care of Blake for the night. I have to do some work and Emily is going out with some friends." I don't know why I lied to my mother about was really going on. Maybe I was embarrassed that my life wasn't going that great when my wife just tried to kill herself. Mum nodded and took Blake from me. I kissed them all before leaving through the front door so they don't know that I was going to hospital.

I got to the hospital and found out Emily never came in. I wanted to bring her myself but when I got home she wasn't there. There was a note on the table telling me that she was going to spend the night at a friend's. I threw the note across the room but it didn't go far. I punched the wall knowing there was nothing I could do. I cut myself; I just wrapped it in a kitchen towel before drinking myself away.

It was two months later, when she did it again this time I had taken Blake with me to the joke shop. I was playing with Blake when we came in. Blake let out a yawn so I put her down for a nap. Then I went to find Emily, I found her this time tried to poison herself this time. I picked her up and took her St. Mungo's. They had her in a room before I remembered that Blake was home alone. I picked her up and brought her to Hannah. Hannah was happy to take her for as long as we needed. I didn't tell her that her daughter was in St. Mungo's.

When Emily woke up I was pacing the floor, she looked around the room to see where she was. She saw me pacing and frown. "Where am I?" She asked.

"The hospital," I hissed. A healer came to make sure that everything was okay. We didn't say anything while the healer was there but we threw draggers at each other with our eyes.

After the healer left Emily spoke. "Why don't you let me die, James?"

I stopped pacing. "Because you are my wife, mother of my child, and I love you."

"If you love me then you would let me die." Emily looked away.

"Why do you want to die?" My temper was getting to me. "Because last time I checked I gave you everything you wanted. I take care of you. I make sure there is food on the table. What is wrong with your life that you want to end it?"

"I never wanted this life. I wanted to travel around the world not have a family. That is what you wanted, James. I don't want to be the housewife who sits at home and waits for her husband to come home." She sighs. "James, I haven't been happy since we left Hogwarts. And don't look surprised because you saw it, you knew what was happening. I wanted to leave this place and you wanted to play house. If I hadn't gotten pregnant I would have left you, James. We wanted different things, our love was only to last until Hogwarts was over. I would have travel and you would have stayed here and found the woman who was going to be your wife and mother of your children. But you didn't see the signs, you are not in love with me anymore and I don't love you anymore. We are just living."

I didn't know what to say after that. I left the room and found a chair in the hallway. I sat down and cried because Emily doesn't love me anymore but she was wrong about one thing I will always love her. I knew what she wanted, she wanted out of this. She didn't want to be a wife or a mother. She wanted to see the world and if she never step foot in England again it would be too soon for her. I didn't want to give her what she needed but I knew I had to do something because she was going to keep doing this and she may just kill herself.

We left the hospital a few days later, Emily was happy because she let everything go. I felt down because this wasn't going to last, she may play the good wife and mother now but she going to fall again if I don't gave her what she wants. She told me I had a month to get a divorce or things were going to get bad. I didn't know what to do if I gave her the divorce I know I will never see her again. But I thought of our daughter never knowing her mother and hating me because I didn't stop it.

It's has been a month and I put the papers in for the divorce. I would have custody of Blake and everything, the house, the money, all I had to do was give her a portkey somewhere and never see her. I went home with the papers for her to sign and found her dead. Her wand was lying next to her with a note on the table telling that Blake was with my parents. I kneeled down next to her and touch her throat, I felt nothing.

"You only had to wait a few more hours." I said. I kissed her on the head. "Goodbye, Emily."

The funeral was three days later, I held Blake as they lower the casket in the ground. I looked a crossed the hole to see her parents there, crying. I haven't spoken to them since I told them that their daughter killed herself. They cried and asked why I didn't stop it. I told them it was coming no matter what. I knew Emily would get tired of the world and find some way to exit it. I saw that my whole family had come, Mum and Dad told there was nothing I could have done but I needed to live for my daughter.

I did live for her. All I really did was work and take care of her. I made a life for us. She's a happy teenager at Hogwarts making all the boys' hearts break. I just became head of my department and I was happy. I tried to date but no one was like my first true love. I just couldn't open my heart for them. My family helped in any way they could, if that meant taking Blake for a night or giving me a hug letting me know they are there for me.

J&E

"James, are you okay?" Al asked. "You zoned out there for a second."

I smiled. "Sorry, but you are right. I need to move on and I may not find a woman you all are hoping for but Blake needs me and who else will tell you want a terror Mikey going to be." I nudged him with my shoulder.

Al laughed. "Trust me. We already know. Just the other day Mikey decided to put plastic wrap over the toilets and Justin came out scream with pee all over him." Justin was Al's second son who was only sixteen months younger than Mikey. I laughed with Al. "Maddy blames me for it because I told her we should put James in his name. She said I quote 'He's going to be a troublemaker like everyone else with the name James in your family.'" We laughed.

"Sorry mate." I patted him on the back. "You married her for some reason."

Al grinned. "I know and I'm still trying to figure it out." We both felt a whack on the back of our heads. We turned to see Lily standing there, rolling her eyes at us.

"I'm still trying to figure why Mum and Dad kept you." She with a mischievous smile on her face, she walked away. Al turns to me.

"Why did they keep her?" He asked. We traded a look before we both started laughing.

It was snowing when I left Al's house, I appeared next to the graveyard by my house. I opened the kissing gate, made my way to the back. I found the grave I was looking for. It said Emily Longbottom-Potter on. It show the dates and underneath that it said daughter, mother. I didn't put wife on there because she didn't want to be that. I traced the last, she gave me Blake.

"Hi, Emily. I'm not going to come here anymore because I need to move on. It has been fifteen years since that day. You would have been proud of Blake; she turned into a beautiful woman. She wants to be healer and travel to help people who need it. I decided that you didn't love me as much as I love you but I want you to know that you will always hold a place in my heart. I'm not going to be haunted anymore with your memory. So goodbye, Em." I kissed my hand and placed it on her grave. I left the graveyard and didn't look back.

**A/N: Thank you for reading. There a few things I would like you to do.**

**Review to let me know the songs you think it is and I will let you know if you are right. Remember one song per CD. **

**If you want challenge go to my page and see if you want to do it. It's called ThreeSongOneShot Challenge. (Optional) **

**There will be a story for each of the twelve next generation. Albus will be next so look for it.**


End file.
